


The Man They Call Jayne?

by Amethyst Shard (AmethystShard)



Category: Firefly
Genre: Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-21
Updated: 2010-05-21
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmethystShard/pseuds/Amethyst%20Shard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jayne takes a blow to the head, but Simon's the one suffering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Man They Call Jayne?

Simon sat on his bed reading, while his sister sat cross-legged on the floor lost in her own world. "Uh-oh," she said suddenly and Simon looked up in time to hear banging on his door. The door opened and Mal and Zoe tumbled in with an unconscious Jayne. Simon jumped up and helped them.

Simon asked, "What happened?"

Mal grunted under the other man's weight. "Just a little disagreement with the locals. Jayne here got hit on the head with a very disgruntled barstool."

"Put him on the bed. I should check him out before we move him any more."

"Good," replied Mal, happily ridding himself of the heavy crewmate onto Simon's bed, "Because there was no way we were carrying him any further."

Simon looked him over and set to dressing his wounds.

"How is he," asked Zoe.

Simon leaned back from his patient. "It's hard to say, it would be better if I could get him to the med lab, but I'd rather not move him just yet."

"Do you need anything? If not, we still have some unfinished business to attend."

Simon nodded. "I'll watch over him. When he regains consciousness I'll see if I can get him to the med lab for tests."

"You do that then. Zoe?" The two left leaving Simon and River alone to deal with an unconscious Jayne.

Simon sat on the edge of the bed, with his back propped by the wall, and stayed up most of the night, watching him, checking his vitals. River watched both of them with a secretive smile on her lips. Sometime during the night Simon must have fallen asleep, because he woke several hours later with an arm draped over his lap. He looked at the man the arm was attached to with some measure of confusion.

Jayne smiled up at him. "Well, hey there."

Simon rubbed his eyes. Spotting the bandage on Jayne's head, he remembered the night before. He carefully touched his head, inspecting the wound. It had swollen slightly during the night. "How are you feeling?"

Jayne groaned while sitting up. "Like a sonofabitch. What did I drink? My head is killin' me."

Simon smiled kindly. "I think that would be the rather good-sized welt on your head. What happened yesterday?"

Jayne's brow knitted in concentration. "You know, I don't rightly recall." He turned to Simon with a cocksure smile, "Musta been a helluva shindig though. I don't usually take to bed pretty young men, not that I'm complainin' mind."

And suddenly his hands were on Simon, which the doctor quickly put a stop to. "Whoa, wait, what do you think happened last night?"

"You must have had the same rotgut that did me in. But I'd be happy to participate in a reenactment with you. It could help jog our memories."

Simon nearly fell off the bed. "Jayne."

"Jayne?" Jayne scrunched his face. "That's a girl's name ain't it? Well I suppose it suits you a bit."

Simon's eyes widened. "No, you're Jayne. Don't you remember?"

"Me?" Jayne took a moment to think, then shook his head. "Nah. That don't sound right."

Simon was definitely worried now. "Then what is your name?"

Jayne frowned. "I'm sure it'll come to me, as soon as I get over this gorram hangover."

Simon stood. "I think we better get you to med lab."

"What's that?"

Just then River walked in carrying a tray of food. She smiled proudly. "Surprise! Breakfast in bed for the patient and his doctor. I gathered it myself."

"Wow," said Jayne. "That must have been some night."

Simon noticed the way Jayne was looking at his sister and replied, "Hey, that's my sister!"

"Kinky."

"That's it," Simon said testily. "River, go get the Captain."

"Too late," Mal's head popped in through the open doorway followed by the rest of him. "Heard a commotion, thought I'd stop in and see how the patient was doin'."

"Another one? Don't tell me he's your brother," said Jayne from the bed. He leaned over towards Simon, whispering, "Look, I don't mind the sister, but the big one ain't really my type."

Simon looked down at him in disgust.

Mal looked between them. "What is he going on about?"

Simon rubbed the back of his neck. "He appears to be suffering from amnesia."

"Really?" Mal tilted his head as he looked at Jayne. "Is it serious?"

"Amnesia usually is. I won't know until I run some tests."

Jayne interrupted, "So, are we havin' sex or what? Cause if not, I wouldn't mind diggin' into that breakfast."

River cheerfully handed him the tray.

"River," Simon warned, "Don't stand too close."

With Mal's help Simon finally got Jayne to the med lab to run his tests. By then word had gotten round Serenity and some of the other crewmates gathered to hear the results.

"So what's the verdict?"

"Well," said Simon, "There doesn't seem to be any permanent brain damage."

Standing near his wife, Wash replied, "With Jayne, who could tell?"

To the point, Mal asked, "How long till he gets his memories back? I've got a ship to run and I need all my men in working order." He glanced at Kaylee and Zoe. "And women."

"No telling," said Simon, "A day, maybe a week. The human mind is a tricky and fragile…"

Mal nodded. "Yeah, yeah, sure. Well, as soon as he gets to healin' let me know."

As everyone started to pile out of the room, Simon panicked. "Wait! You're leaving him with me?"

Mal paused, "Who better? You're the doctor and you certainly have experience babysittin'… Well, what's one more?"

"But I..." Simon tried to protest, but with small waves and sympathetic smiles they left him to tend to his patient. Simon sighed.

Jayne grinned. "I thought they'd never leave."

Simon glanced around the empty room resignedly. "Now what?"

"Wanna play doctor?"


End file.
